Tears & Heartache
by MeggieMagoo316
Summary: Here's a little Japril fanfic that I wrote. Hope you like it. It's kind of sad so I apologize in advance.


April and Jackson sat on the couch in their living room. Jackson had his arms around her and she had her head resting on his chest. Jackson's hands were on April's baby belly. "Did Em give you any trouble going down?" April asked as she put her hands on top of Jackson's.

"No. I think she was tired from playing in the park."

"She does love the park." April smiled. Emmy was just over a year old. April was shocked when she was found out that she was pregnant again. It definitely wasn't planned but it seemed ever since Jackson stood up at her wedding to Matthew and confessed his love for her and they ran away together to get married, a lot of surprises have happened in her life.

The baby kicked the side of April's stomach. "That was a good one."

"I could feel that one." Jackson smiled and moved his hand over to where the baby was kicking.

"Are you going to come to my appointment on Thursday?"

"I wouldn't miss it."

"You said that about the last one and you got stuck in surgery."

"I know. This time I'm going to be there."

"Good." Jackson leaned in and gave her a kiss.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Emmy started whimpering from her crib.

"I'll go check on her." April sat up and Jackson slid out from behind her and walked down the hall. Jackson pushed the door open to Emmy's room and walked over to her crib. Emmy was laying on her stomach squirming and whimpering. She rolled over unto her back and looked up at him. "You're supposed to be sleeping." Jackson said picking her up.

"Mama…" Emmy whimpered and laid her head on his shoulder. Jackson rubbed her back. Emmy sucked on her pacifier. Jackson carried her into the living room. April turned and smiled at them. Jackson sat down on the couch and Emmy leaned into April.

"You're supposed to be sleeping." April pulled her in close and hugged her. Emmy rested her head on her. "My baby."

"You ready for there to be two?"

"I guess we'll find out." April smiled and played with Emmy's strawberry blonde curls.

"What time is your appointment, Babe?" Jackson asked as he put Emmy down in her high chair and got her some Cheerios.

"Um..2:30.* April was looking around the living room packing stuff into Emmy's diaper bag. She picked up her teddy bear from the pack n' play and put it into the bag. She took the change of clothes that was on the arm of the couch and put them into the bag then went into the kitchen. She grabbed the bottle from the fridge and put it into the side pouch. Jackson gave Emmy a sippy cup of juice. April grabbed some snacks for her. April grabbed an elastic from off the counter and quickly pulled Emmy's hair into a tiny pony tail. "I hope I'm not forgetting anything."

Jackson smiled and took a sip of his coffee. April looked at the clock. "Jackson we're going to be late." Jackson picked up Emmy and gave her the bowl of Cheerios and grabbed her sippy cup.

"We're all ready."  
>April put the diaper bag over her shoulder and grabbed her purse. Jackson took the keys off the hook and opened the door. Emmy stuffed some Cheerios into her mouth. April walked out of the apartment and Jackson closed the door over and locked up.<p>

April carried Emmy into the daycare. Jackson got paged into an Emergency as soon as they came into the hospital. April put her down at the play table. One of the daycare employees came over. "Good Morning, Doctor Kepner." She smiled.

"Good Morning." April smiled back. "Here's her things." April handed the diaper bag to her. "Bye, Baby. I love you." April kissed the top of her head. "See you later." Emmy sucked her pacifier and played with some of the Duplo blocks that were on the table. April smiled at her and headed out of the room.

April sat on the exam table waiting for Jackson. She had him paged twice already. April sighed heavily. "Did you still want to wait for Doctor Avery?" The OB resident asked.

"I'll give him five more minutes." April laid back. The door opened and Jackson walked in.

"I know I'm late. I'm sorry, Babe." He walked over and gave her a kiss. April gave him a look. "I'm sorry." Jackson smiled and took her hand. April lifted up her shirt and the OB squirted some gel unto her stomach. She turned the ultrasound machine on and put the probe down onto her stomach and moved it around to get a look at the baby. April smiled as she watched the screen. She looked up at Jackson and he smiled and kissed her hand.

"I can't believe in three weeks we'll have two babies instead of just one."

"I know it's crazy." Jackson smiled.

The OB continued to move the probe back and forth and clicked a few buttons on the machine as she did. "I'm going to go grab another machine. I think there might be something wrong with this one." The OB pushed it aside and left the room.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" April asked.

"A boy would be nice but if we have another girl that's okay with me too."

"If it's a boy I hope he looks like you." April smiled.

The OB came back into the room and this time the attending OB was with her. April and Jackson shared a look.

"Is everything okay?" Jackson asked.

"We were having some technical issues with the machine and Julie just wanted to make sure she was using it right." Julie brought the new ultrasound machine over and turned it on. She moved the probe back and forth on April's stomach. She shared a look with the attending.

"Is there something wrong?" April had a concerned look on her face.

"Do you remember the last time you felt the baby move?" The attending asked.

"Um…" April looked at Jackson.

"Wasn't it the other night? You were having a hard time falling asleep."

"Yeah…yeah…two nights ago."

"So you haven't felt the baby move today?"

"Um….I don't think so." April's voice cracked.

"Why are you asking us all these questions?" Jackson asked as he wrapped his arm around April.

"We're not finding a heart beat on the ultrasound."

"Wait…what?" Jackson shook his head not sure if he heard her right.

April let out a sob.

"I'm sorry."

"No…wait….hook her up to a monitor. You'll find it."

"I…"

"Just do it." Jackson raised his voice.

"Okay…okay." She looked at Julie and nodded. Julie left the room. April was still crying uncontrollably. Jackson hugged her and she cried into his lab coat.

Julie came back with a fetal monitor and gave it to the attending.

"Babe…" Jackson rubbed April's back and she pulled away from him. She laid back and the Attending hooked her up to the monitor. Jackson watched her intently. The Attending turned on the machine and there was still no fetal heart tones.

She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry but there are still no signs of heart activity."

April let out another sob.

"There…there has to be…something you can do."

"Sometimes this just happens."

"No…." Jackson shook his head. "No."

"I'm going to give you two a minute and then we can talk about starting you up on Pitocin to get the labor progressing."

"You want to induce labor?" Jackson had a shocked look on his face. April sobbed again.

"I think it would be best. The longer we wait the more risk there is on your wife."

"I…I…" Jackson turned away so she wouldn't see the tears welling up in his eyes.

"I'll be back in a few minutes." The attending and Julie left leaving them alone in the exam room.

"Jackson…" April had tears streaming down her face. Jackson wiped his eyes and turned to look at her. "Why is this happening to us?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know." Jackson wrapped his arms around her and didn't let go until the Attending came back into the room.

"I can take you upstairs now…" The Attending said just above a whisper. Jackson cleared his throat.

"What about Emmy?" April wiped her eyes.

"I'll figure something out."

"Jackson I can't do this with out you."

"I'm going to talk to talk to the Chief and then I'm going to ask Arizona and Callie if they can take Emmy but I will be back. I'm not going to leave you alone. I promise." April's lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears again. Jackson kissed her on the lips. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Okay?"

April nodded. He went to leave but April wouldn't let go of his hand. He hugged her and she let go of his hand.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Jackson walked out of the room and around the corner. He stopped and leaned up against the wall and started to cry. He covered his face with his hands. He stayed like that for a few minutes before pulling himself together. He slowly made his way down to the ER.

After talking with Chief Hunt, Jackson went to go find Arizona and Callie. He found them both in the lounge. Jackson paused before going into the lounge. "Jackson." Callie and Arizona smiled at him.

"Hey." He looked a little overwhelmed.

"Everything okay?" Callie asked when she saw his face.

"Umm…Can you watch Emmy tonight?"

"Jackson?"

"Are you alright?" Arizona walked over to him. Jackson didn't say anything. He turned away from them as his eyes filled up with tears again. Callie joined Arizona.

"Avery…what's going on?"

"Where's April?"

Jackson cleared his throat and turned to face them again. "They brought her upstairs."

"Is she okay?" Callie and Arizona both had concerned looks on their faces.

"_She's_ okay…."

"And the baby?" Arizona picked up on his evasiveness.

"Um….they….they ah…." Jackson paused to compose himself. "They couldn't…" His voice trailed off.

"Oh my God. Jackson." Arizona wrapped his arms around him.

Callie joined in on the hug. "I'm so sorry." Callie started to tear up.

"Do you need us to do anything else for you? Call anyone?"

"N…no. Just taking care of Emmy would help."

"Of course."

"I should get up to April."

"If you need anything…"

Jackson nodded. "Thank you."

"Tell April that we're here for her too."

"I will." Jackson pulled out his keys from his pocket. "So you can get Emmy's things." He handed them to Arizona.

"Don't worry about her. We'll take good care of her."

They both hugged Jackson before he left. Callie and Arizona shared a look and they both started to cry.

"I feel like I need to be there with them." Arizona cried.

"I don't think there's anything you could do or say that would make this better."

"They're our friends…"

"They know we're here for them…" Callie wiped her eyes.

"It's just awful…"

Callie nodded and they hugged.

Jackson sat next to April's bed. He held her hand and kissed her cheek. The OB gave her a mild sedative and they were waiting for the Anesthesiologist to come in for the epidural. A few tears rolled down April's cheek and she quickly wiped them away. "Jackson…"

"Yeah?"

"I want the baby to be baptized."

"Of course…" Jackson brushed the hair from her face.

"And the baby needs a name. I know…we..we were going to wait…."

"Want to pick one now?"

"Yeah."

"Did you have any in mind?"

"A few."

"What names did you come up with?" The Anesthesiologist came into the room.

"You ready for the epidural?" April nodded and sat up. He walked over to the bed. "I just need you to swing your legs over the side of the bed and lean forward." Jackson helped her get positioned right. He gently held her back while the doctor gave her the epidural. April winced and stifled a sob. "That should kick in in about ten to fifteen minutes."

"Thanks." Jackson said rubbing April's back. April laid back and turned her head towards Jackson. Jackson leaned in and kissed her. "You had some names in mind?"

"Yeah." April nodded. "Um…" She took a deep breath. "I was thinking of um…Joseph or Luke for a boy."

"I like either one of those."

"And for a girl…." April sniffed. "I was thinking um…" April bit her bottom lip. "Sydney or…ah… Rose."

"Sydney is cute." Jackson gave her a little smile.

There was a knock on the door and a nurse came in. "I'm sorry. There's a message for you Doctor Avery."

"Who is it from?"

"The other Doctor Avery."

Jackson looked at April not wanting to leave her. "It's okay…"

"I'll be right back."

April nodded. Jackson kissed her and left. April turned and looked out the window. The sun was starting to set. April started to cry.

April was asleep in bed. Jackson held her hand as he sat in the chair. He leaned back and rested his head on the wall behind him. He cell phone buzzed in his pocket. He looked at the number and got up and left the room quietly. "Hello?" He said when he was outside of the room.

"Baby? Which room are you in?"

"Um…5318."

"I'll be right up." The phone clicked off. Jackson put his phone back in his pocket and waited outside the room for Katherine. He heard the elevator door ding and saw his mother come around the corner.

"Mom…" Jackson walked to meet her.

"My baby…" Katherine wrapped her arms around him and they hugged. After a minute Katherine pulled away and took his face in her hands. Jackson eyes were full of tears. "I wish there was something I could do to make this better."

"Nothing could make this better, Mom." Katherine hugged him again. Jackson closed his eyes and some tears rolled down his face.

"Where's April?"

"She's asleep. The OB gave her a mild sedative."

"Did you want to go get something to eat? You must be hungry?"

"I don't really feel like eating."

"What about some coffee?"

"Coffee would be good."

"Let's go down to the cafeteria and get some."

"I should stay. Just incase April wakes up."

Katherine nodded. "I'll go get you some coffee."

"Thanks, Mom."

"Where is Emmy?"

"Arizona and Callie took her for the night."

"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?"

"I'm really not hungry."

"I'll get you something anyway. You don't have to eat it but at least you'll have it if you get hungry."

"Okay." Katherine pulled his face in close to her and kissed him on the forehead.

"I'll be right back." Katherine made her way back to the elevator and Jackson went back into the room.

The doctor came in to check on April's progress after she had woken up. Jackson sent Katherine to their apartment. He didn't think April could handle it if she was there with them. This was one time that Katherine didn't fight Jackson over his decision. Jackson held April's hand and ran his fingers through her hair. April closed her eyes and turned her head towards Jackson. Jackson leaned in and touched foreheads with her. April reached up and put her hand on the back of his head. Jackson kissed her lips. "You're at 6 centimeters. I'm going to give you more Pitocin and see if we can get you progressing a little faster." April nodded not turning to look at her. "I'll send a nurse in." The OB took off her gloves and threw them away as she left.

April looked up at Jackson and he kissed her again.

"if there was anything I could do to not have you go through this…." April turned away as she started to cry.

"Why would he do this to us? What did we do….to deserve this?"

"Hey. Listen to me, okay? We didn't do anything. _You_ didn't do anything." Jackson took her face in his hands. "Sometimes it just happens…"

"I…"

"No don't blame yourself. You had nothing to do with this."

The nurse came in and April quickly wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. The nurse walked over and gave her an injection of Pitocin into her IV. They both stayed silent while the nurse finished up and then left. Jackson climbed into the bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her. April buried her face in his shirt and held on to him tightly. April cried into his shirt.

The doctor came back in to check on April again. She sat down in front of her and looked at the monitor next to the bed. She could see that April was having a contraction and she waited for it to pass before checking her again. "Okay, April. You're completely dilated and 100% effaced. You can start pushing now." April looked at Jackson and he nodded. April sat up and Jackson stood up next to her. He took her hand and kissed it.

"You can do this." Jackson whispered.

"I'm not ready." April whimpered. She shook her head as she cried.

"I know this is hard." The OB said getting into a gown and putting on some clean gloves.

"Jackson…I can't."

Jackson tried not to cry as he comforted her. "I love you. I know you can do this." He kissed her a few times on the face. "You can do it." April took a few deep breaths to try to stop her crying. After a minute she got into position and started pushing.

April had now been pushing for a little over an hour. Jackson wiped the sweat from her forehead. "Just a few more times and you'll be done." The OB said. April took some deep breaths in and out. The OB looked at the monitor to let her know when another contraction came. "Okay, April." Jackson helped her sit up again. April took a deep breath in and pushed again. "Good. A little harder." April whimpered as she pushed. The contraction ended. "Good." April fell back against the pillows and Jackson wiped her forehead again. He kissed her forehead and rubbed her shoulder. Thirty seconds later the next contraction came. "One more time." April sat up again and Jackson took hold of her leg. April took a deep breath in and pushed. The doctor got ready to catch the baby and cut the cord. April let out a cry as the doctor caught the baby and cut the cord. "It's a boy." April held her breath waiting for the baby to make a sound and when she didn't hear it she started to cry uncontrollably. Jackson had tears rolling down the side of his face. The doctor passed the baby to the resident OB and she brought him over to clean him off. Jackson hugged April and they both cried. April held tight to Jackson not letting him go.

"Did you want to see him?" The OB asked. April and Jackson let go of each other. Jackson looked at April.

"We don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to." April wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her hospital gown. After the resident wrapped him in a blanket she brought him over to them. She placed him down in April's arms. The baby's eyes were closed and it looked like he was sleeping. He looked like Jackson. He even had dark tight curls on the top of his head. April kissed him as more tears rolled down her cheeks. "He's beautiful." She stroked his cheek.

"What are we going to call him?"

"Luke David…." April's voice cracked.

"Yeah. I like that." Jackson kissed the side of April's head. April kissed the baby again.

"I love you." April ran her fingers through his hair like she does with Jackson. She held him a few more minutes before passing him to Jackson.

"Hey, buddy." Jackson settled him into his arms. He couldn't take his eyes off of him. April cried silently in the bed next to him. She occasionally let out a couple of sobs. Jackson took the baby's hand in his and gently wrapped his hand around his. Tears rolled down his face. The OB had left the room to give them some privacy and now she came back into the room.

"Would you like more time with him?"

Jackson looked at April. April looked at him with teary blood shot eyes. Jackson cleared his throat. "N…no."

The OB walked over to get him. Jackson was about to pass him over when April stopped him.

"Wait…" April wiped her face. "I just want to hold him once more." Jackson gave the baby back to her. April held him close to her chest and she gently rocked him. "You'll always be my baby." She kissed his head and stroked his cheek. April held him a few more minutes before passing him to the doctor. She let out a sob as the doctor took him. She put him into a bassinet and wheeled him out of the room. April threw her head back and let out a loud cry. Jackson's head fell unto the bed and he started to cry too.

Jackson went into the hall after April had fallen asleep. The doctor thought it would be good to give her another sedative to help her sleep. With a shaky hand he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and dialed his mother's cell phone number. Katherine answered the phone with a groggy voice. "Hello?" Jackson didn't say anything. "Jackson? Baby? Is that you?" Tears started rolling down his cheek again. "Jackson…I'm on my way." The phone clicked off and Jackson pulled the phone from his ear. It fell to the floor as he turned and cried into the wall outside April's room.

Jackson was still standing outside of the room when Katherine came walking over. "Baby…" She held her arms out for him and he let her ingulf him in her arms. Jackson let out a sob. "I'm so sorry." Katherine had tears rolling down her face as she held him. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours. Jackson pulled away.

"It was a boy…"

"Awe, Sweetheart…" Katherine went to wrap her arms around him again. Jackson pulled away.

"I…I have to talk to the Chaplain. He needs to be baptized."

"I can do that."

"April wants him to be baptized."

"Of course…" Katherine held his hand and rubbed his arm trying to comfort him. Jackson tried to look at his watch but his eyes were full of tears. He wiped his eyes and looked at his watch again.

"Where are we going to find one this early in the morning?"

"I'll make some calls."

"His name is Luke….Luke David."

Katherine smiled. "It's a good strong name."

"I…I don't know what to do?"

"About what, Baby?"

"How do we go back home with…without him….?"

Katherine hugged him. "I'm going to go make some calls and see what I can do about a Chaplain. You should sleep." Jackson nodded. "I'll take care of everything." Katherine stroked his cheek.

"Thank you…" Katherine kissed him before Jackson went back into the room. Katherine took a minute to pull herself together before heading to the elevator.

Jackson lifted his head up off of April's bed. He looked over at her and saw that she was still asleep. He rubbed his eyes and looked to see what time it was. His watch read 8:30. He gently kissed April before getting up out of the chair. He stretched and rolled his head to loosen his stiff neck that he got from sleeping. He quietly walked out of the room. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to check for any missed calls. When he didn't see any he decided to call his Mom. Katherine answered after a few rings. "Hello?"

"Mom…"

"Jackson. I found a Chaplain. He'll be here as soon as he can."

"Thank you, Mom."

"Anything for you."

"Can you come stay with April? I need to go home and shower and grab a few things and I don't want her to be alone."

"Of course. I'll be up in a minute. I'm just downstairs."

"Okay." Jackson hung up and then dialed another number. The phone rang a few times and then Arizona picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey…" Jackson cleared his throat. "Hey, it's Jackson."

"Jackson…" Arizona had a hint of sadness in her voice.

"I was just calling to check on Emmy."

"She's great."

"Good…"

"How are you holding up?"

"Um…I…I'm not really sure."

"Did you need us to do anything for you?"

"Could you bring Emmy by later…after um…." Jackson's voice trailed off. He just couldn't get the words out. "…I know that April's going to want to see her."

"Yeah. Of course. You just let us know."

"I will…Thanks again." Katherine came around the corner. "I have to go but I'll call you."

"We're here for you."

"I know…" Jackson hung up the phone without saying goodbye. He put the phone back in his pocket. Katherine wrapped her arms around him. She kissed his cheek and wiped away the lipstick that got on it. "April should be asleep for awhile." Katherine nodded. "I just have to do a few things…"

"I'll call you when the Chaplain gets here."

"Okay."

Jackson unlocked the door to his apartment and let himself in. He closed the door by leaning against it. He took a deep breath and went inside. He could see that his mother had kept herself busy by cleaning up. The dishes that were on the counter from yesterday's breakfast was now put away and the toys that were all over the living room floor were now neatly put away in the toy box and cubbies. He walked over to the bedroom and paused outside the door. He knew when he went in their he'd see the crib set up in the corner of the room, and all of the baby clothes that April had folded and put into neat piles. He took a deep breath in and opened the door. He looked around the room and saw that the crib was gone. Along with anything else that indicated that a new baby was supposed to be coming home with them when they leave the hospital. Tears welled up in his eyes. Although he was happy that his mom took it upon herself to clear out all the baby stuff he wished he could see it one last time. He took a minute before going over to the dresser and grabbing a clean change of clothes. He grabbed a towel and went into the bathroom to shower. For the longest time he just stood in the shower letting the water roll down him. He just kept playing the last twenty four hours over and over in his head. When the water started to turn cold he finally got out. He got dressed and went back into the bedroom to get some things for April.

When he got back to the hospital, Katherine was outside of April's room talking with the Chaplain. "Jackson…" Katherine called him over. "Jackson this is Reverend Andrew. This is my son, Jackson."

"Nice to meet you." The shook hands. "I just wish it were under happier circumstances."

"Thank you for coming." Jackson turned to Katherine. "Is April still asleep?"

"Last time I checked."

"Can you give me a minute?"

"Of course. We have a few more things to discuss."

Jackson went into the room while Katherine and Reverend Andrew continued to talk outside. He slowly walked over to the bed and sat down. He put the bag that he was carrying down on his chair. He took April's hand in his and leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips. April started to stir. She slowly opened her eyes. Jackson smiled when she looked at him. "Hey." He whispered.

"Jackson…the baby…" April sat up looking around for him but then she remembered he wasn't there.

"April…" Jackson stroked her face. "The Chaplain's here."

"He's here?" April's voice cracked.

"Yeah. He's outside with my mom."

April nodded. "I ah…I need to…"

"I brought you some clothes from home." Jackson knew exactly what she was trying to say.

"Thanks." Jackson grabbed the bag and gave it to her. April took a quick look inside. She saw that Jackson packed her favorite t-shirt and some jeans for her. He also packed a brush and some toothpaste with her toothbrush. "I guess I better go change."

"Okay." Jackson kissed her again. April pulled the covers back. She paused a minute and looked at her stomach. Tears welled up in her eyes.

She cleared her throat. "I'll be right back." April made her way to the bathroom that was connected to her room. Jackson sighed heavily. April took a few minutes to change and get cleaned up and then they both went into the hall to join Katherine and April.

"April, Sweetheart…" Katherine gave her a hug and April tried to keep from crying. April gave her a smile. "This is Reverend Andrew."

"It's nice to meet you."

"You as well." They shook hands.

"Did you want a wheelchair?" Jackson asked touching her lightly on the back.

"No. I'm okay." Jackson wrapped his arm around her. She wrapped her arm around his waist.

"So…um…where are we going to do this?"

"The chapel if that is alright with you?" The Reverend said.

"That's fine."

"What about the…the ah….baby?" April said wiping away a stray tear.

"They were going to bring him there."

April nodded as Jackson pulled her in closer to him. The silently walked over to the elevator and waited for the doors to open. Jackson pushed the button for the third floor and the doors closed. April hugged his waist as they rode the elevator down. The doors opened again and they walked down the hall to the chapel. The security guard, Jim, was standing outside the doors.

"He's there so no one will interrupt us." Katherine stated. Jim gave April and Jackson a sympathetic look. Katherine smiled at him and he smiled back. Jackson took April's hand and opened the door. The Reverend walked to the front of the room. A nurse was there standing next to a bassinet. The tiny bundle in the bassinet was wrapped up in a blue blanket. April stopped in her tracks. Jackson stopped when he felt the tug on his arm. He looked back at April. "You need a minute?"

"No…I…" April walked to join him. Jackson gave her hand a squeeze and they walked to the front of the room. The nurse picked up the baby. Jackson took him and cradled him in his arms. April started to cry when she saw the baby. April wiped her eyes and rested her head on Jackson. Jackson held the baby with one arm and April with the other.

"Are we ready to start?" The Reverend asked.

Jackson looked at April and then nodded.

After the baptism, Jackson and April spent some time alone in the chapel. April spent most of it crying while Jackson spent most of it silently yelling at who ever was listening about why this happened to them. April sniffled and blew her nose. Jackson looked at her and rubbed her back. April leaned into him and he held her close. "Owen said we could have as much time off as we need."

"I think it would be better if I go right back to work."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Let's at least take the rest of the week off. Maybe go and see your parents?" April whimpered. "Or if you rather not…"

"No…I think that's a good idea." April paused. "Do they…?"

"Yeah…I talked to your Mom."

April nodded and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "Okay."

"While we're there I can help your dad out with the planting." April laughed as she cried. Jackson smiled. "Why are you laughing?"

"I couldn't picture you out in the field working."

"You don't think I can do it?"

April looked up at him and smiled. "No."

"Gee thanks, Babe."

April wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything."

"I would do anything for you." April leaned in and kissed him. When they pulled apart April rested her head on his shoulder. "Did you want me to call Arizona and Callie and have them bring Emmy by?"

"Yes."

"Come on." Jackson stood up and held out his hand for her. April took it and he pulled her up. We wrapped his arm around her as they walked out of the Chapel.

April and Jackson sat on the bed in April's room waiting for Arizona and Callie to come. They were talking about the trip to visit her parents. There was a knock on the door. April smiled. "Come in." Jackson said as he turned to face the door. Arizona was the first one in with Emmy. Callie came in behind her. Emmy's face lit up when she saw them.

"Mama!" She said excitedly. Emmy reached for her and tried to squirm out of Arizona's arms as she carried her over. April took her in her arms and hugged her and kissed her all over the face.

"I missed you." April said tearing up. Emmy snuggled into her neck and held onto her shirt tightly. Arizona and Callie both looked like they were trying not to burst into tears right there. Jackson smiled and kissed Emmy. "I hope she wasn't any trouble." April rubbed her back.

"No she…she was great." Arizona smiled as her eyes welled up.

"She's a very easy baby." Callie said wrapping her arm around Arizona.

"Did you need us to take her again tonight?"

"If that's okay?"

"It's fine. She has so much fun playing with Sofia."

"Good." April smiled and rocked her back and forth as she held her.

Callie and Arizona walked over and sat down. Callie reached over and rubbed Jackson's back. He looked at her and gave her a little smile.

"We decided we're going to go visit April's parents for a few days once they release her."

"That sounds like a great idea. I know you were talking about going to visit after…." Arizona trailed off. "I'm sorry…"

April shook her head. "Don't be. It's good to talk about him."

"It was a boy?"

"His name is Luke. He looks just like Jackson." Emmy sucked on her fingers and played with April's hair. April kissed her cheek.

"I'm sure he does." Callie smiled. Arizona wiped her eyes as a couple of tears rolled down her cheek.

"Excuse me a minute…" Jackson said quickly getting up. He walked into the bathroom. Arizona and Callie looked at each other. April rested her head on Emmy's.

"How long are you going to visit your parents?"

"Just for a few days. Then we're gonna come back to work."

"You're going right back to work?"

"Yeah. If I have to stay home…I just…" April took a deep breath. "I rather be here." She said as she exhaled. Jackson came back into the room.

"Sorry about that." He sat back down on the bed.

"No need to apologize."

Emmy sat up and reached for Jackson. April passed her over to him. His arms enveloped her in a hug. He kissed her and cuddled her. He smiled and instantly felt better. He sat her in his lap and kept his arms around her. She leaned into him and went back to sucking her fingers.

There was a knock on the door and a woman dressed in a suit jacket came into the room. "I'm sorry to interrupt but I was hoping to talk to you about a few things."

"We should go so you can…" Arizona agreed.

"Yeah." Callie agreed.

April frowned. Jackson gave Emmy another kiss and a hug. "Bye, Em. I love you." He kissed her once more before passing her to April.

April kissed her and gave her a squeeze. "I love you." Emmy started to whimper. "I'll see you tomorrow." Arizona got stood up and took Emmy.

"Mama…" Emmy started crying.

"Bye. Love you." April waved.

"Bye." Jackson wrapped his arm around April. Emmy wailed as Arizona and Callie left. April leaned into Jackson and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry to do this but I have some forms for you to fill out and a few questions to ask." The woman said as she walked over to them.

"Questions about what?"

"About what you would like to do with your son?"

"We have to do that now?" Jackson has a confused look on his face. April buried her face in his chest.

"I'm afraid so."

"We…we haven't decided…."

"I have a few options here for you." She pulled a brochure from her bag. Jackson stared at them in disbelief. "I also need you to fill out this so we can make up his birth certificate." April whimpered. Jackson started to rub her shoulder.

"Okay…um…I guess I'll start filling out the forms."

April packed up her things while she waited for Jackson to come back. He was filling out the release papers so she could go home. She sat down on the bed and took a deep breath out. Jackson came in a minute later. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah." April gave him a little smile. She picked up her bag and walked over to him. He took her hand.

"Did you want to come with me when I get Emmy or did you want to go home?"

"Um…home. I really want to take a shower."

"Okay. I'll drop you off and then I'll go pick her up." Jackson pushed the down button for the elevator and wrapped his arm around her. She leaned into him.

"I talked to my mom."

"Is she excited for us to visit?"

"Well the first half of the conversation was just us crying…but I think she's happy." The doors opened.

"I think Emmy will enjoy seeing all the animals."

"Yeah." April smiled. The doors closed and they went down to the first floor.

"I just have to pick up something at the front desk on the way out."

"What do you have to pick up?"

"A copy of his birth certificate."

"O…okay." The doors opened and they walked over to the front desk.

"There should be some papers her for me." The receptionist took a look around until she found the papers.

"Here you go Doctor Avery."

"Thanks." He took them from her. He looked at April. He squeezed her hand and then they made their way out the front doors. "Babe…"

"Yeah?"

"While my mom was staying at our place…she um…she put away all of his things."

"She..she did?"

"Yeah…I guess she thought it would be easier if…" Jackson opened the door for her and she got in. Jackson walked around to the driver's side and got in. He started up the car and pulled out of his reserved parking spot. April looked out the window as they drove. They rode all the way home in silence. Jackson kept trying to think of something to say but he didn't really know what do say to her. He pulled into his parking spot at the apartment building. They got out of the car and he took her hand as they went upstairs to their apartment. Jackson unlocked the door and let her in.

"Did your mom clean while she was here too?"

"Yeah. Probably keeping herself busy. I think she did the laundry too." April walked into the living room. Jackson pulled out his phone and called Callie and Arizona to let them know he was on his way to pick up Emmy. "Want me to make you something to eat?" Jackson asked when he hung up with Callie.

"No…I think I'm going to shower first."

"Okay."

"I'll be back soon." Jackson walked over and gave her a kiss. April smiled. "Love you."

"Love you." Jackson headed out of the apartment again. April went over to the bedroom door. She looked around the room. There was no sign of any baby related thing that had been there before. April's lip quivered as she walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. She buried her head in her hands and cried thinking about the baby who she'll never get to know.

Prologue

Eighteen Months Later

In the months that followed, Jackson and April moved out of their apartment and into a house. They found one close to the hospital and close to the local elementary school. It was close enough that they could walk Emmy to school when she was old enough. The apartment was to much of a reminder. At night, when April thought Jackson was asleep, he could hear her crying. That when he suggested that they find a house. They were talking about eventually moving out of the apartment anyway. This way they would have a fresh start. On Valentine's Day, April gave him the best news he could have asked for. She told him that she was pregnant again. After they moved into the house they had talked about maybe having a baby but they never really made a decision about wether they would or not. They both thought that it was still to soon to decide either way. But now that the baby was coming they couldn't be happier about it. The first few months were tough for both of them. April was really worried that something would happen again. Now that they were nearing the home stretch a lot of the worry had gone but until they had the baby safe at home they would still continue to worry.

At three o'clock in the morning on September 28th, April woke Jackson up to tell him that she was having contractions and that her water had broken. Jackson shot up out of the bed. He quickly put on his pants and a shirt and looked around for her bag. He found her bag on the chair by the bed. April got herself ready to go. "What are we going to do about Emmy? If I wake her up she'll be miserable." Jackson looked around for his keys.

"We can call someone when we get to the hospital."

"I'll go get her." Jackson went down the hall to Emmy's room. Emmy's leg was sticking out from between the crib rails. Her hair was sticking up all over and her pacifier was hanging out of her mouth. She had her arm wrapped around her cow stuffed animal that Owen had given to her. He walked over to the crib and gently lifted her out. Emmy dropped the cow and Jackson picked it back up and stuck it under her arm. Emmy whimpered but didn't wake up. Jackson rubbed her back as he carried her out of the room. April was already downstairs waiting. Jackson grabbed a few things from her room and carried her downstairs. April smiled. "How close are the contractions?"

"About 10 minutes apart." April pulled down Emmy's pant leg so her leg wouldn't get cold from the cool fall air. Jackson wrapped her blanket around her and opened the door. April went out first and he followed. He locked up the house and carried Emmy over to the car. He opened the door and gently put her into her car seat and strapped her in. April got into the car and waited for him. He closed the door over slowly so it wouldn't slam and then he got into the driver's seat. He started the car and smiled over at April.

"Ready?"

"Yes." April smiled back and took his hand. Jackson leaned in and kissed her and then pulled out of the driveway.

Jackson stayed with April while she got checked in and she got hooked up to the monitors and got started on an IV. Once he knew that she and the baby were okay he went to go find someone to watch Emmy for them. Emmy was sleeping on his shoulder as he carried her into Pediatrics. He walked over to to the nurse's station. "Is Dr. Robbins working tonight?"

No. I'm sorry she's not. Did you want me to page her?"

"No that's okay." Jackson saw Jo Wilson come out of one of the rooms. "Wilson." He called over to her just loud enough for her to hear him but not to wake up Emmy. Wilson walked over.

"Dr. Avery."

"Wilson I need you to do me a favor."

"Sure. What is it?"

"I need you to watch Emmy for me."

"Um…"

"Just until the daycare opens."

"Is everything okay?"

"April's upstairs in L & D."

"Yeah of course."

"Thank you." Jackson passed Emmy to her. Emmy stirred and settled into Wilson's neck. "I owe you one." Jackson headed back towards the elevators. Wilson went to go find a room to put her down in.

Jackson walked back into April's room. "Did you find someone to watch Emmy?"

"Wilson has her down in Peds." He walked over to her. "How you doing?"

"Good." April smiled and took his hand. Jackson kissed her and sat down on the bed. April watched the fetal monitor next to bed. "The baby has a good heart beat."

Jackson smiled and wrapped his arm around her. April got a contraction and winced in pain. Jackson rubbed her lower back while she breathed through the pain.

Two hours later April was ready to start pushing. They were told that the second labor could be a lot fast then the other but they were both pretty surprised when the doctor told her she could start pushing on the next contraction. "Are you ready, Babe?"

"More then ready." April sat up and got into position. Jackson kissed her cheek. When the next contraction came, April took a deep breath in and started to push. A nurse counted while Jackson whispered words of encouragement to her.

"That was great, April. Just keep doing it like that." The doctor said while they waited for the next contraction. Jackson smiled and brushed the hair from her face. The next contraction came and April got back into position and pushed again. April cried in pain.

"You can do it, Babe. You're almost there." April continued to push. The contraction ended and she laid back against the pillows. A nurse handed the doctor a few things to deliver the baby. April cried as another strong contraction hit her. She quickly sat up and started pushing.

"Harder, April. The baby's head is right there." Tears streamed down her face as she tried to catch her breath. She took a quick deep breath and pushed harder. "Good. Okay, April. Stop pushing. I need to suction out the baby's airways." April cried and fall back against Jackson. He kissed her. The doctor suctioned out the baby's nose and mouth. "One more time." April was trying to catch her breath. She whimpered in pain.

"Once more."

"You can do it. I know you can." Jackson said helping her sit up. April took a couple of deep breaths and pushed one last time. The doctor caught the baby as it slide out. The baby let out a loud while. April sobbed and buried her face in her hands.

"You did it, Babe." Jackson smiled and kissed her.

The doctor cut the cord and wiped the baby down. "It's a boy." The doctor held the baby up so they could see him. He looked a lot like Luke did. The baby continued to cry as he got cleaned up and measured and weighed. A nurse wrapped him up in a blanket and put a hat on his head and brought him over to April and Jackson. She placed him down in April's arms.

"Oh my, God…" April held him close to her. "He's perfect." She kissed his forehead. April looked up at Jackson and saw the tears streaming down his face. "Awe, Babe…" April smiled and reached up and touched his face. "We have one of each now."

"We sure do." Jackson smiled and kissed her passionately on the lips. Jackson wrapped his arm around April's and they both cradled him. "It's nice to meet you, Jordan Michael Avery."


End file.
